A Prayer of Thanksgiving

Dear Lord, I thank you for being an Almighty God. A good God. A God who knows me. To be fully known by you is such a gift. It’s actually pretty mind-boggling. To think that the creator of everything really knows every single thing about me… my deepest thoughts, my dreams, my quirks, my disappointments, my longings, my hopes, the things that weigh on me, the little and big things that bring me joy, the things I wish I could share with others on a deeper level. You know all of it, Lord! You know me.  

In fact, you even know me so well that this week as I’ve been studying Psalm 139, I feel like you chose to speak to me in a way you knew I would understand. Through my dogs. Even as I’m saying this to youI’m smiling because I know that you are probably one of the few who won’t think it’s silly, because you made me this way, and you know that I often learn best through nature or analogies.  

Earlier this week, I heard myself say to my husband, “don’t you know Chet wants a rug in front of him? He’s waiting for you to put one down.” It hit me that because I am with the dogs the most, I know them really well. I know that Chet has several quirks. He has a big fear of wood floors and slipping on them so as his caregivers, we have made a way for him - and we have several small rugs throughout the house, so that he feels comfortable having a path forward. If the housekeeper comes or if someone accidentally moves one of his special rugs, he literally stops, looks at me, and waits. I love this picture. It shows me first of all that he knows he’s known by me. He knows that I understand. He needs that little rug to feel safe and to move ahead. And then he trusts. He knows I’ll put it there for him. He simply waits and looks to me, never doubting that I will take action on his behalf.  

This little episode is such a sweet reminder of how you interact with me, because you know me so well. You know the fears I have or the hesitation that I have in certain areas of my life. At the same time, I know that you are the one in charge and that I can trust you, and that you will handle it - and that you will prepare a way forward for me in whatever it might be. I think back on my life, and I wonder how many times you were placing little rugs in front of me (so to speak) to make a path for me. I would stop. I would look to you. I would wait. And you would take action. Or when rugs got pulled out from under me - which has definitely happened over the years, I’ve always been able to have a calm feeling that there’s a reason. That you know what you’re doing and see the big picture, and that you will make another path. It reminds me of this song : “And all my life you have been faithful. And all my life you have been so so good. With every breath that I am able I will sing of the goodness of God.” 

Moving on to the topic of your omnipresence, Lord. You’re everywhere. You’re everywhere I am. Everywhere I go. Everywhere I’ve ever been. That’s hard to comprehend. The analogy breaks down a little bit here, because I cannot be everywhere my dogs ever are. But one thing I’m sure of - when the dogs know where I am - they’re at peace. You can see it, hear it and sense it. There’s a certain comfort that comes to them when they are touching their mom or dad. A certain sigh that says - “everything‘s good now. I can rest now.” And if something scary happened earlier that day like going to the vet, or contractors bringing big machines through the house - things that maybe don’t make sense to them in their little world - they stick a little closer and they cuddle a little more. I think of it as leaning not on their own understanding. They know something happened or something’s different, but as long as they feel close, and sense our presence, they know they’re going to be OK.  

Again, what a beautiful picture of the peace that comes when I stay close to you. When I look to you first. When I bathe in your presence and your Word.  

Something I’ve noticed with our dogs also, is that the older they get and the more they see the same patterns and consistency - they naturally trust and obey. They know that when we crate them, we will be back. It’s just a normal part of the day now.  

This reminds me that even though there are times where you feel farther away - your years and years of faithfulness to me give me reassurance - when you do feel farther away - that it is only for a season or a short time.  

There have been times in my life where I have chosen to distance myself from you, Lord, and I know we’ve talked about this before, and I’m so sorry. I know you’ve forgiven me for not trusting you in certain areas and for making bad choices. But what I also see now in Psalm 139 is that you were always there. Even in the dark places I chose to be you were there, because light and darkness are the same to you. 

I think of a time when Aspen was a puppy and the gate was accidentally open, and she ran out to the front yard. I thought for sure we had lost her because we live on the busiest street in town. But thankfully, I went out there and she was just sitting in the yard looking back toward me looking very nervous. She realized quickly that doing things on her own and going outside of the guidelines we’ve given her was not going to be a smart move, and it didn’t take long for her not to do that again.  

Thank you, Lord for your protection over the years for forgiving me of my bad choices for protecting me from making worse choices or having horrible consequences and for getting me back on the right path. 

In the last portion of Psalm 139 David is asking you to search him and know his heart and also to test him and know his anxious thoughts. Lord, I ask you to do the same with me. I know that I have areas of my life where I have fear or lack of trust still, Lord. I ask you to help me give all control to you and not try to take it back myself. I ask you to continue to lead me in the path that you have for me which I know is good! Having worked through Psalm 139 over the last couple of weeks, it seems really crazy to think that I would ever doubt you or have fear or take back control. But I do. I want to be more like you, Jesus.  

Please hear my heart today, and like the puppies who respond so quickly when I call their names and pretty much follow me wherever I go - I pray that would just become more and more automatic the closer I get to you. I love you Lord. It is such an honor to be known by you and not only known by you but loved.  

I love you, Lord. 

Sabina