Slow Down, Lie Down by Bryan Craig

“The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures.  He leads me beside still waters.”  Psalm 23:1-2

I have a confession. Twenty years ago, when I first went through The Journey, leading the first group of men in Tulsa, I seemingly failed at my first Extended Prayer Retreat.  I was leading the men’s ministry at my church during the same year, and we had a great idea.  We asked Rocky to be the speaker at our men’s retreat, and we tied our Journey Prayer Retreat into the weekend.  While we gave the rest of the retreat attendees an afternoon of free time, my Journey group did our extended prayer retreat with the Prayer Cottage book.  

This was the first time in my life I had endeavored to sit alone with God for three hours.  It was intimidating, and I wasn’t sure what to expect.  I read the Prayer Cottage book in advance, and I loved it, so I was expecting some great revelations and time with the Lord.  We were at New Life Ranch at the original site, which is one of my favorite retreat places.  I took my camp chair and backpack and hiked up to what they called “The West 40.”  It is a big grassy field that just exudes peace.  I nestled in under a shade tree, and I prepared for a new experience with the Lord.  As I read the Journey Manual instructions, I was told to read Psalm 23 as a way to “tune in” before exploring the different rooms in the Prayer Cottage.  

“The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures.  He leads me beside still waters.  He restores my soul.  He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.  Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.  You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”

As I started to journal my thoughts about this, the weariness of the week of preparation for this retreat and the poor night’s sleep in the camp bunk hit me suddenly.  My eyes fell heavy.  “Maybe I’ll just take a 15 minute nap,” I thought.  That usually does the trick for me. Two hours later I awoke, startled.  I looked at my watch, and I could not believe I had slept that long.  Thoughts rushed through my mind, “Oh no!  I won’t have anything profound to report back to the guys.  I’m supposed to be the leader of this Journey group.  What will Rocky say?  I’m a failure!”

I packed up my stuff and began the shameful hike back to rejoin the men.  As I followed the trail, it took me down by Flint Creek which runs through the camp.  The sound of the bubbling water drew me closer.  I realized I still had a little bit of time, so I thought I would take another crack at this Prayer Retreat.  I noticed that the water diverged at one point which created a little island in the middle of the river.  I planted myself in my chair right there.  I sat there for a minute, just enjoying the sound of the water, collecting myself.  As I reached down for my backpack to grab my journal and Bible, I jumped.  All around me, there were hundreds of water spiders.  They had me surrounded, and they looked menacing, though I knew they were harmless.  

Once again, my prayer time was disturbed and distracted, and I sat there in resignation.  I gave up.  After a few minutes of self-pity, I noticed a beautiful butterfly that seemed drawn to me.  He kept circling me until finally, he landed right on my head.  It was so strange, yet it touched me.

As I sat there motionless, I heard the Holy Spirit communicate to my heart…

Bryan, you are not a failure….

I made you lie down in a green pasture… (the West 40)

I led you beside still waters… (the Flint Creek)

I prepared a place for you in the presence of your enemies… (the Spiders)

I anointed your head with oil… (the butterfly)

And goodness and mercy will follow you all the days of your life.

It was truly amazing.  I didn’t journal through one room in the Prayer Cottage, yet I communed with the Lord in a most unusual, but profound way.  I felt His abiding presence with me, even in my rest.  It was a very important lesson for me in understanding this abiding relationship with the Lord.  It’s NOT about performance, perfection, or trying to be holy.  It’s about walking with Him and resting with Him and IN HIM.

When I rejoined the group, I hesitated to share my experience with the group, for I didn’t know Rocky that well, but he was becoming my mentor.  I didn’t want to disappoint him.  I did share it, and I wasn’t sure what everyone thought.  Rocky’s simple response was, “Well, I guess the Lord knew you needed some rest.”  

This made such an impact on me.  This was grace.  This was abiding.  This was so needed in my life.

We all lead such frenetic, fast-paced lives, overwhelmed with pressure, information, expectations from ourselves and others.  If we do make time for God’s Word in some sort of quiet time, it, too, can become a task to be completed, not enjoyed.  

I love the quote that we need to slow down so that our “Souls can catch up to our bodies.”  We must slow down.  Or He may “make us lie down.”

I’m so thankful that I have a gracious Shepherd who is looking after me, wanting me to rest, wanting me to just enjoy Him, revealing beautiful truths to me from His Word and His Spirit.  He is leading me on this path with Him, until one day, I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.