The Boat in the Sea by Bruce Monholland

Envy, greed, lust my companion sins daily.  I had gained delusional contentment in their presence. 

My soul hardened beyond the depth of condemnation.

The depths of sin, my deceived comfort, I wasn’t sinking.

I needed nought.  For I had found the depths of my sins bearable.  Yes, bearable. I would dare to say perhaps even contentment in them, though delusional at best. I neither suffered much nor gained to greatness.  

Yes - not only bearable but delusionally content.  Why, if one should at least dare to gaze upon my polished hull, they would conclude that I was good and seaworthy. In fact, they that would cast a gaze upon me and dare to envy - knew not the comfort in sin I had learned to bear in my deceived contentment. For I had learned to navigate sin quite well. This had become my existence.  

Care to join me.   

Till one day a Spirit most Holy I had only rarely noticed, came to visit me.  Not in a storm,neither in flashes of lightning and roaring thunder but rather, in a soft gentle breeze that brings a comfort to one’s turbulent sea. 

In His presence my bearable contentment fled.  The conviction that I had easily rebuffed, now seems to crush me under its weight.  

Yet though I seemed oppressed, for now in this moment  I was not deceived but rather my soul was granted, the awareness of the depths of my sin. 

This, my boat, which found contentment in the sailing of tumultuous seas and being tossed about wildly and at times fair and calm seas, though few and far between, I had no captain save myself.  Not realizing that I was being kept from being claimed by the depths of my sin by that very most Holy Spirit I had seldom given thought to.    

Now the seas billowed and blustered and tossed my boat wildly and violently to and fro. 

I raised my sail and prayed. Yes, I prayed and with greater ferocity than the seas about me, that gentle Holy Spirit, that most beautiful and glorious Spirit, blew into my sails.   

The sins that dared to claim me to the depths no longer held bearing upon my soul. 

No longer am I content in the false frivolity of sin.  In fact, I now prefer the calmness of the breeze that guides my sail.

I now sail a new course in pursuit of that glory which traverses Glory to Glory. With each new sunrise, a Joy now flows forth from the depths. Still there are times through raging seas and tempest tossing, for this ocean must try this vessel to deem it seaworthy.  But now in this time of seas, I have been given, by that most Holy Spirit, the quiet peace that surpasses understanding .   

I shall one day complete this journey. When my ship shall drop anchor in the shores of that Crystal Sea that radiates with a beauty that I set my sail in course to find that day when I prayed.  Then, I shall embrace that most Holy Spirit whom became my Captain on that day which I prayed with humble gratitude and unashamed adoration.  

Dare to join me ….